Things just happen .

Sometimes we never knew we could be this close

Never knew I could actually be this close to this girl. And I have no idea how did it all started actually, maybe one of the reasons why I got closer to her was because I was trying to help my birdie Danial Haziq to get her back on track after her great depression as the both of us calls it. Went through stupid depressions together, from cutting ourselves to depressing nights crying through text and to now. Happy girls, in love with our own best friends. It took up a few months to be where we are now, happy girls, who are truly living in our own lives just like we always wanted since the first day we went through our break ups. She never thought she could actually move on, but eventually she did pretty alright with everyone’s moral support. Especially Danial Haziq’s massive moral support and his existence being beside her through days and nights just to make sure she is feeling A-OK. Today’s Nab 3 months of finally getting over that douche and I am very proud of her, well who wouldn’t. She finally met the guy she truly loves, and I hope everything will fall back into place soon. Thank you for being there for me when Khai went for holidays, when I had my fights with Nakiah, when everybody suddenly started hating me, you are so awesome and I still wonder how Hippos have sex xD Luv you birdie! xx <33

This boy, okay honestly I never once had a real conversation with him. This year was my first time, and his already like my brother. I don’t quiet remember how did this whole thing came about but I know he was one of those best buddies who was there for me when I was on my knees not getting up from my down fall. And now i even more closer to him after I discovered his love for Nabilah, I was one of the first girl who knew about it. Considering I am pretty honored. So I decided to help him out, helping to make sure I take good care of Nab during my lessons with her. Accompany her and all. There was certain times this boy went emo, called me up in the middle of the night in tears which crushed me hearing him sobbing. So i tried helping him up, boost up his self-esteem and told him to never give up and to be more patient with life. After he knew Khai still loves me, he decided to boost up my self-esteem again and talk me out of things. Look at where we are all now, Danial is in love with Nab and I am back with Khai. Funny story, all 3 of them are my darling best friends. I made a lot of best friends this year and I am truly blessed that some of them are in love with each other :)

xx <3

And sometimes, we gotta remember that khairulisya is apart of us

To the boy who i wished to marry some day, hope this occupies 10 minutes of your time while i am gone. Hope you’ll miss me, cause I will.

Sorry for all the fights, the misunderstandings, the inappropriate jealousy, all those craps I have done within the past 1 month. You are too special for me to let go off. You mean the world to me just like how the rest means a lot to me. I am sorry if I was never a good girlfriend and I am not such an understanding girl. I will try my best to be one, but life sucks. We changed, but thats just something we gotta get used to huh? But no matter what you have to know I love you in so many ways. I love how you smile at me, watch me eat, stroke my hair, wipe away my tears, hold my hands, kiss my cheeks and forehead, hug me tightly, how you take pictures, how you always touch your nose every single time, how you eat, how you walk, how you be such an irritating ass to me, and so much more. There are so many reasons for me to stay in this relationship, and i hope there are more then numbers could count for you to stay as well. I wouldnt want to see you go, I wouldnt want any other girl to love you anymore. I just hope it would be me till the end cause i cant afford to lose someone like you any longer and go through all those craps. I love you Muhammad Khairul Irfan, more then Eindah loves you, more then anybody loves you but not as how much your Ibu loves you. Happy 25 Monthsary in advance my dear, you are sexy and i know it. You are handsome and i love it. Be safe while i am gone, if you get yourself hurt i swear you wont see any balls when you go pee. I love you baby, more then words can speak. Will miss you, I will get for you interesting socks designs while im on my shopping spree. Just remember, khairulisya. That name christine gave us when we were in Secondary 1. Till here, xoxo <3

Forever and Always

Dearest FANAM,

terribly sorry for all everything that has been going on. It was none of my intentions to have all this negative points about one another. You know I love you girls very much, you girls are like my sisters. My small sisters that I have to look after to cause you girls are so fragile and I hate if anything were to happen to you girls. I havent been a great sister, best friend, girlfriend and a friend. More like a bitch who neglected her girls behind, who supported her on when she was down on her knees when Khai left. I know I am wrong and I am very much disappointed I am acting this way. I wouldnt want to lose you girls, you girls means the world to me and I mean it. Im off to KL, I will get something nice for you girls and when I come back we will meet up for Az birthday celebration.

xoxo,

sya :(

And the tears came streaming down your face

Sometimes you wonder why fights ever existed. Break ups ever brought up. Why family fall apart and why people chose to leave only when they think they had it best already. I will never ever understand love, i don’t see the love in this family anymore. Feeling so upset over the littlest thing. Seeing your sister cry every single day, your parents are not in talking terms, your mum always sleeping in your room before you wake her up to go to her own room, and there is me trying to not give a care about all these but its affecting me in so many ways i can’t even take it in anymore. I feel like running away and just hide. Been going through so much this year, and I am not even sure if i can go through this. Trying to fight away these tears, not sure how long I can suck it up back in again. Tired of all this. Sighs.

Ever wondered why people leave? Ever wondered why humans changed? Ever wondered why are we the most self fish human beings? Ever wondered why is it so hard to stay strong without having the urge of breaking down?

Ever feel like leaving everyone, cause every single day in your life you see at least one person leave everything they love behind without having to feel anything.

Ever feel like nobody is there for you when you need them, but in actual fact your feelings are just overcoming your ability to think positive.

Ever wondered whether your boyfriend misses you whole heartedly?

Ever wondered if your friend actually gives a damn about you?

Ever wondered why you think so much?

Sighs, goodnight :’(

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Perfect skies is torn

November 24, 2:45p.m

Yesterday was one fun and tiring day, but as always half of my mind was thinking of my boyfriend who I miss so dearly. Anyways, I had Nab over at my house yesterday while she was waiting for her ultraman to finish his softball. So we did some catching up and planned for our next triple date which we would like to have soon. Soon after, ultraman came over to my house and both of them hang out at my place for an hour plus. They entertained themselves while I was busy doing my chores and frying some bread egg for my gals. All 3 of us went out from my house at 1.30 and they sent me to interchange to my girlfriends while they had their lunch at the sports recreations centre there.

I wore my long gray dress and met up with my gals at inter, and off we went to PRP to have our mini picnic. Did a lot of catching up, singing and eating. So I gave them a long catch up about me and Khai. They had a lot of threatening warnings for him, but its just them caring. It started pouring heavily, we packed up and we went to Nad’s house at 4p.m We jammed to guitar heroes from 4-7 and we headed to the pasar malam. I finally got my handphone cover, i am one happy gal! :D

Thaats about it for yesterday, not much about today. Blehs i miss my boyfriend :(

Dear boyfriend, i miss you. I hate you for having to leave me. Luv u though muah xx.

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In the light of sun, is there anyone?

November 21, 9:35p.m

Missing you like hell, come back quick. Your girlfriend is sick :-( I’m listening to your favourite song right now, I love you handsome.

God only knows what we’re fighting for

21 November, 4:48p.m

Made a video for Khai, but i can’t seem to upload it. Kinda sad, never mind I shall just keep it in my thumbdrive and show him when he comes back. My Monday is very boring, I am down with high fever sighs. Come back quick Khairul Irfan. Missing you already :( I love you.